Morning Town Ride.

...rockin' rollin' ridin'....my mum use to sing this to me when I was little. She use to sit on my bed. When I had my own baby, and he wouldn't go to sleep, it was the only song I could think of that I knew all the words to. Something about having been awake for three months tends to deplete your capacity for objective though. I remember I sang a lot of hymns, but I only knew the first verses. Strangely, they were all the ones I learned in infant school. Dear Lord and father of mankind, Jesus wants me for a sunbeam, and a whole bunch of Christmas Carols - not the American ones you hear in soppy movies, real church carols - In the bleak midwinter,

Bu changed schools today. The last school weren't looking after him the way we needed it to. So he's going to my old school. My school. Tennyson Road. Where my mum use to stand by the iron gates to meet me and take me home. Where the caterpillars grow in the silk webbing in the bushes, and the cherry's blossom in the spring. It isn't romantic memories. The cherries are still there, I saw them today. They have buds on them. I know in a few months, when the wind blows, they will rain confetti on the playground and every one will play in it. I can't believe that was 33 years ago now.

I stood in Purple class today. They were hosting the raffle and refreshments for the parents open day. It wasn't called Purple class, 33 years ago, it was just called Our Class. I went and stood in the corner of the room. I remembered sitting on the floor there in the summer time. The doors were open, big metal framed old fashioned doors, painted white like the windows, in the summer, they opened them and let the cool blow in and all the children went and sat by them to take lessons. I remember waiting for "my word" to come up, the one I recognised when I saw it, so I could put my hand up and read it to the class. I think it was "little" but I am not sure. I know it was a long word and that's why I was proud that I knew it.

I feel like something was right about today. Picking up my son from my school. I wished my mother could see me there, I hoped she would walk by and see me with my child and remember that she loved me once too, but she didn't and there's no point in dwelling on it. This is Bu's school now too, and I am the mummy who will make the memories and I *so* hope they are good memories, he's going to have them for a long time.

He's in bed now, to excited to sleep because he wants to go back to New School. He spent half an hour at dinnertime trying to convince his father and I that it was morning so we could get ready and go again. I might go in and sing to him, sit on his bed and see if he will go to sleep. Train whistle blowing....